Post Separation Abuse

This week 21st - 25th September is Post Separation abuse awareness week, aimed at highlighting the issue and the impact it can have on the victims, their children and their safety.

Domestic abuse does not necessarily end when the relationship is over. It can continue in various forms during post separation and is just as harrowing and traumatic as when living with the perpetrator. Post separation is also known to be a high-risk time as the abuser feels a loss of control which can lead to them having a strong determination to regain that control. The fist six months after the relationship has ended is when most domestic murders occur.

Some victims of domestic abuse who leave the relationship will continue living their life’s without hinderance from their abuser. However, in some situations, often when there are children involved the abuse can continue for many years.

Post Separation abuse can present in many forms such as stalking and harassment, withholding money, emotional manipulation as in using guilt and blackmail to try and pressurise you in to returning to the relationship. When there are children involved, they can be weaponised by the ex-partner through continuous applications to the family court for access and contact orders. Once these orders have been issued the abuser may show little interest in the children and in extreme cases cause harm to the children.

The Domestic Abuse charity Refuge have found that 40% of the callers to their helpline represent post separation abuse. Refuge’s Helpline team have recognised a number of dangerous themes in post-separation abuse case, including perpetrators breaching bail conditions, threatening survivors’ children or new partners, and using child custody arrangements to maintain control or to avoid child maintenance payments.

Refuge’s Helpline advisors have highlighted the devastating impact this abuse has on survivors, many of whom experience the trauma for the rest of their lives.

The criminalisation of controlling or coercive behaviour after separation was introduced through the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 and came into force on 5 April 2023. Now, Refuge reveals reports of post-separation abuse to its National

Domestic Abuse Helpline remain alarmingly high, while the public significantly underestimates the threat posed by former partners. 

If you require support and/or advice for post separation abuse please contact a local or national domestic abuse charity and report it to the police.

Support agencies include:

• Refuge
• Women’s Aid
• National Domestic Abuse helpline: 0808 2000 247
• National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
• Worth Services, West Sussex: 033 022 28181
• domesticabuseservicescentral@westsussex.gov.uk